4Sight Process: Build Resiliency

The resiliency building plan has four steps. You must be competent in each step before being able to move to, work on, and take advantage of the next step. It all starts with the desire to be accountable to others.

1. Commit:
Be Accountable

The fundamental element behind improving your SE or SC is this: you are [sometimes] engaging in thought patterns that are holding you back. The more years that you've been doing that for, the more challenging changing them can feel. And the best way to commit is by saying it out loud. Tell others you are looking to work on your SE or SC issues. Invite them to help you but caution them to take it easy. This is not an invitation to criticize you. It's an opportunity to point out behavior that is impacting successful action.

2. Process:
Be Mindful

When conflict arises and you sense that emotion welling up inside, stop. You've been triggered. Hold that moment. Don't act on it. Don't respond. Try to think about what triggered the feeling. Analyze. Are you triggering yourself? Being too sensitive? Unfair? If yes, then don't make your problem someone else's problem. Work through it. If however you have a valid reaction, someone else did something that provoked, then register your opinion or complaint. Tell them why you feel the way you do and, most importantly, do it in a civil manner. Commit to avoiding use of the 5 D's as these will prohibit constructive discourse. Listen to what the other person is saying. Maybe they were triggered and you hurt their feelings. See if you can figure out why. Regardless, the goal is to avoid the conflict and repair if need be. Don't focus on trying to be right. Broker an agreement. Focus on being successful.

3. Action:
Be constructive

The problem with SE and SC issues is that they prevent you from doing or saying when constructive action or statements are needed. This is the only way to improve them. By having successes and doing for yourself you will learn that you have value and do contribute positively. By overcoming the consequences of failure you will see that you have the ability to handle things when they don't go as planned or there were flaws in your decision. In both cases you'll build a new pattern which will challenge your brain. You will prove that your perceptions are skewed and will reduce the negative thought patterns that limit your output and quality of life. You can find successes to build self-esteem or manage consequences to build self-confidenc.

4. Record:
Build momentum

Your brain can't argue with numbers and facts. If you write it down every day you are literally forcing your thoughts to reconcile themselves. After a week, a month, and a year, you will see a proven track record of overcoming your SE or SC issues. So whenever you find yourself being negative about the past or unsure about the future you you'll have a record that shows you otherwise. The action alone is going to make a huge difference. That's what SE and SC prevent. But having a journal will be the icing on the cake. You will have convincing evidence that shows that you can work through your obstacles and take positive action.

Coming soon, a 4Sight App to keep track of your progress.

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